Written by Cherish Kumala
Designed by Kiara Andressa
Frequently, we romanticize and praise the perfect image that is being depicted in movies like one-sided love and relationships. Some may say it is encouraging ourselves to be better individuals by appreciating the small things. On the contrary, this feeling is only temporary. ‘Romanticizing’ generates destructive gender stereotypes and fosters false expectations, destroying the happiness of other people in real life.
Unrequited Love
People might describe the pain of a one-sided love story as the equivalent of a break-up. There may be a few happy memories to ultimately depend on, however, there is likely to be more grief and rejection to take in. Visualizing the person with whom you revealed your deepest secrets or desires now appears unconcerned and indifferent. The person you mostly spend time with, chatting about your aspirations and dreams. The person who may know you deeply is suddenly someone you need to keep your distance from in order to move on. Nonetheless, the world frequently perceives it as everything is just as beautiful, romantic, and poetic to make oneself feel better. This is what we call Romanticizing.
An example of this can be taken from the quote by Garrison Keillor. “The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers, and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.”
These writers in social media create accounts of such events in a way to identify beauty in the anguish of these lovers, while in reality, misery and rejection are not beautiful.
So why is unrequited love so romanticized?
Simple, it is the definition of ‘poetry of frustration.’ This is because people depict unrequited love in movies or other types of fictional sources as literary and artistic.
Love at first sight
What people call “love at first sight” has little to do with the fundamental markers of true love –passion, closeness, and commitment. The phrase “love at first sight” is used by individuals in the past to romanticize their encounters or to indicate particularly strong physical attraction. Even if this is all just a dream, people may get away with believing in love at first sight. This is due to the fact that it is a retroactive story rather than one that establishes expectations about the current relationship or the future.
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Some believe that unrequited love never fades. It hides in a hidden location when it is hurt which isn’t totally false. But this is the beauty of pain, they remind you of the times when you are at your lowest but still got up. More significantly, the people who were there for you when you needed them. The pain would gradually heal itself, only if you don’t want to live with it eternally. What you see from movies may be different and don’t expect too much after seeing them. Though it surely tells you what is wrong and things you shouldn’t be doing in real life. Make these (movies, fictional books, stories, etc) as materials you can learn something from. One thing you can do is experience it yourself, understand the hopelessness, and furthermore, give sufficient effort, time, and yourself, in relationships.